I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
