i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
God, I missed his penis.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
