Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Randomize
