Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
