It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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