Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
do herpes really smell.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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