ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
