Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
