he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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