the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
