once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
