He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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