why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she told me i tasted like america
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
