Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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