he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
