I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
