I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize