Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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