We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
