You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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