the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
