you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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