If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
