I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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