If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
