It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
