The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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