So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
