He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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