You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dicks are not precious.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
