So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize