Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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