When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
