3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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