i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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