I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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