I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We are all done wearing pants today
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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