My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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