His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
