as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
