doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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