I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
