At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
