Define "chronic" masturbator.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
