didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize