He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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