How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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