i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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