operation harelip BJ is a go
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
