I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
