one two three fourrrrnication!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
