I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize