I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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