you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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