Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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