I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
