It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
