Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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