Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
