someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
