Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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